Dealing With Insecurities And Getting To The Root Of The Problem

dealing with insecurities

Dealing with insecurities is not always easy, especially when they are your own. Getting the the root of the problem is essential in both dealing with insecurities and overcoming them.

It is normal to have down days where you feel you can’t seem to do anything right. But feeling insecure about yourself all the time can take a toll on every aspect of your life, from your physical health and emotional well-being to how you perform at your job. 

“To understand your insecurities, you must get to the root source and know that it is only a mask you wear.”

dealing with insecurities
There is unfortunately an innate awkwardness to being human, because with each decision we make, there is the potential for self-doubt, and it is this-self doubt that forms the root of insecurity.

Insecurity is a complex emotion that is a mix of equal parts inadequacy, isolation, hopelessness and fear. Yet these feelings of insecurity that prevent us from fulfilling our potential by inducing us to abide by arbitrary self-limitations are nothing more than erroneous perceptions. We feel unconfident and unsure of ourselves because we judge ourselves to be so. Banishing and dealing with insecurites is often simply a matter of challenging ourselves in order to prove that we are indeed intelligent and able. 
When we feel insecure, we not only perceive ourselves as incapable of meeting life’s challenges and expectations, but also fraudulent and unworthy of true happiness. 

We move through life plagued by a sense that others have judged us and found that we are lacking. As a result, we are robbed of our personal power and rendered unable to feel positive about the choices we make. 

Everyone feels insecure from time to time because each of us is born into the world with unique strengths and weaknesses. If you should find yourself with feelings of insecurity, however, endeavor to understand the source of these feelings. Perhaps you were repeatedly berated as a child or seldom receive positive reinforcement in the present. 

A tendency to withdraw from risk or uncomfortable situations can amplify feelings of insecurity. When you have pinpointed the origin of your insecurity, focus on your abilities and attributes. 

Tips On Dealing With Insecurities

Practice Being Objective

If you feel like you can’t get something right, try taking a step out of yourself for a moment and imagine you are a completely different person. Think about what you would tell another person in your situation or what advice you would give them. If you look at it this way, you’ll see that there’s nothing to be scared about and that you can succeed if you put your mind to it.

Focus On Your Past Successes

Instead of focusing on all the times you embarrassed yourself, failed at something focus on your past successes. Think even of those great friendships you’ve maintained or you strong points that make people like you. The more great things you can remember, the more confidence you will have that you can improve on them in the future.

Write Down Your Fears

dealing with insecuritiesTry writing down all of the things that you are worried about, and all of the factors that make you feel like you can’t succeed. 

Next read over them and decide which are valid and which are just negative thinking getting in the way. Think hard of what could be the root of your fears and how you can tackle your fears.

It is natural to be afraid of failure, but one should not be so plagued with worry that nothing at all can be done to progress.

What Is The Worst Thing That Can Happen?

Ask yourself, this question and be honest with the answer. Make sure that it is not just silly worries stoppin you from trying something new. Once you realize that the worst thing isn’t so bad you will be more willing to take the risk.

You can try running your idea through with somebody you trust, and they should also be able to tell you if your worst case scenario is feasible or just overthought.

Turn it around on yourself and ask ‘what is the best thing that can happen?’ Though the best thing ever isn’t always likely to happen, having it on the table can help you approach new tasks with a more positive mindset.

Use Positive Self-Talk

It is especially hard to notice negative self-talk if you have been doing it for a long time. If you’re always telling yourself that you’re a loser, or a failure, then you’re bound to feel that way forever. Rather work on telling yourself positive things about yourself so you’re more likely to attack new tasks with a healthy mindset and a desire to do well.

For every negative thing you think of yourself, try thinking of two positive attributes. I promise you that they are there.

The more you utilize your personal power, the stronger your will grow. This only happens if you take risks, boldly face challenges and act decisively.
Remember that dealing with insecurities is not objective. Rather, it is an emotional interpretation of your value unconsciously based on doubt, shame, and fear. 

As you overcome those underlying emotions through courageous action and copious self-love, you’ll discover that you are capable of achieving more than you ever thought possible in life. 


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  1. Interesting ideas on dealing with insecurities. I agree with a lot of your tips. 

    However, while it can be helpful for some people to ask, “what is the worst that can happen?”, I don’t think it’s a good thing to focus on for someone who is struggling with insecurities. 

    Positive reinforcement and focusing on successes are great ways to get past a stuck point, but I’d caution against spending too much time in the weeds.

    • You are quite right Aly. That scenario is more for someone who wants to take a plunge into something but too scared to do so.

  2. Something I have learned from reading Dr. Joe Dispenza’s books is that being negative towards ourselves, constantly being stressed, feeling guilty all the time, or having similar emotions are like living in survival mode. Our bodies will actually become addicted to the chemicals that are released and from this being a consistent thing it’s what actually causes disease in our bodies.

    I like your topic of letting go of insecurities because it does affect us in very serious ways.

    • That is really interesting Siobhan. Thank you for stopping by to comment.

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