How To Control Anger Issues

how to control anger issues

What Is Anger?

Nearly everyone in this world is prone to displays of anger, which is why in this post I am going to look at how to control anger issues.

It’s just the degree of frequency and the level of intensity of the emotion that varies. It is just this that controls how well a person handles the anger and whether there are positive or negative results from this.

How we handle our anger issues also plays a part in our health, so it is important to learn how to deal with these emotions to help with your stress levels.

A key to successfully managing anger issues is gaining control of your emotions. When looking at how to control anger issues and gaining control of this strong emotion, it may help to take a look at anger itself, what it is and see how one can deal with it effectively.how to control anger issues

Since anger is an emotion, it can be triggered by a variety of things, issues, people, places, etc.

Some of the top triggers are jealousy, confrontations, failure, greed, fear, low self-esteem, assertiveness, feeling threatened and pain.

When a person gets angry, the negative emotion can actually harm the person’s physical and emotional well-being. The heart rate increases, stress levels rise, and often a fight or flight reaction is the immediate response, neither one always presenting a healthy alternative.

What counters anger best is to be prepared in advance and learn what major triggers control your emotions. You need to be able to tell when they are about to happen and thus try to avoid these triggers.

There is also a variety of coping skills that one can put in place to deal with how to control anger issues.

It would be a good starting place to keep a private journal and note any anger triggers, ways to possibly avoid confrontations and also list possible coping techniques. This will serve as a great starting point for you to learn how to control these unpleasant emotions.

How To Control Anger Issues

Wait until you are calm and then make yourself a list of people, things, places, and events that get you worked up and angry.

It could be things like these:

  • Going to visit your in-laws and having them criticize you.
  • Losing money on the stock market.
  • Waiting in long ques.
  • Handling an angry customer.
  • Heavy traffic.
  • Automated answering services that never connect you to the right department.
  • People complaining about your cooking.

Now list ways in which you can deal with your anger. Make sure that you are in a positive frame of mind when you do this to spark better creativity.

Here are some ideas:

  • Try dancing. You can let it all out in your own unique way. Just put on your favorite music and dance around your lounge.
  • Try some ice cream. This sounds simple but believe it or not, something cool and soothing can often help take the heat off the moment and also cool your whole body down.
  • Take a walk. Take a step back, go for a walk and mull over the situation for a while, and your proverbial mountains will actually turn out to be molehills.
  • Write down your feelings in a journal. Create a column for ‘lemons’ and another alongside it for solutions (lemonade).
  • Try altering your schedule. Take a different route home, or do things in a different order as you get ready in the morning.

The Top 7 Ways of Controlling Anger 

how to control your anger

It is normal to get angry at some time in your life over something or other that happens.

However, anger is a negative emotion that leads to feelings of sadness, guilt, frustration, unhappiness, and helplessness.

Anger is an emotion which we must recognize and be able to let go of in order to be happy, successful and to be able to work on our personal growth in life. It is important to find a resolution for the anger and being able to let it go and move on.

Knowing why you are actually angry does help. Do you feel angry at another’s actions or are you angry at your own reaction? Finding out what actually upsets you is an important factor in actually narrowing down what it is that is bothering you.

The more you practice controlling your anger the easier it becomes to let it go and move on and by learning to control your anger you are effectively learning to take control over your life and your happiness.

Here are 7 things to try to help you gain control over your anger

  1. When you feel anger beginning to build up inside of you, let your whole body droop and relax to the best of your ability while beginning to breathe from the diaphragm. Breathing in this way helps to calm both the body and mind which leads to letting go of the anger before it takes hold.
  2. Ask yourself if being angry and working yourself up is going to make any difference to the situation. If for example someone cuts in front of you, is it really going to change anything if you curse and blow your horn. Is it worth stressing yourself over these little things that you cannot change?
  3. Visualize a stress-free zone in your mind. This should be a place where you feel totally relaxed and calm and a place which only you know about where you can quickly go to when you feel anger beginning to build up inside. It can be a totally imaginary place or one that you have visited in your life where you feel totally relaxed and at ease.
  4. When you feel anger beginning to build up due to someone else’s actions think of yourself doing exactly the same thing as they did, would you be angry with yourself if you were the one doing it?
  5. Realize that it’s you and you alone that is allowing the anger to build up inside of you, while it may have been caused by someone else, you chose to let it bother you and to get angry.
  6. Counting to 10 really can help to diffuse anger, by concentrating on counting you are forgetting what happened and are consciously letting the anger go.
  7. Repeat an affirmation or mantra to yourself whenever you feel anger beginning to build up inside. For example, tell yourself to “take it easy”, “I feel calm and relaxed”, “anger isn’t going to get me anywhere” or “let it go”. Affirmations can help to diffuse your anger and get you back on the right track of thinking in a more positive and calming way.

Any other ideas on how to control anger issues?

I am sure there are many other unique ways one can work on to control anger issues, so please comment below if you have anything to add.

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  1. I shared this on soulseries health and wellness page. Very good article I especially liked the idea not to write anything down until you have settled down. Litttle things like dancing and eating ice cream whatever helps you to become less angry I suppose is a good idea everyone is different. And finding out what works and applying can only be beneficial to your life I suppose

    • Yes everyone is different, but that is why it is great to have feedback from people like you. Thanks for the comment.

  2. Good afternoon Michel,

    I really like your post on how to manage our anger. As I live on an organic farm if I do get angry I can slam a door and go and sit under the meditation tree. Not everybody has that possibility. 

    There is too much anger and frustration in our world. Compared to 50 years ago people now live stressful lives.

    Personally, I think it also has to do with all the toxins be it in the water, air, and all that man-made food. Let us not forget the constant radiation we expose ourself to every day and night. Looking at the modern human we are out of balance, spiritually, mentally, and physically. We are not in harmony with nature anymore.

    Regards, Taetske

    • You, unfortunately, could be right Taetske. Thanks for your informative comment.

  3. Wow is this timely.  I drive for Uber and I see plenty of angry reactions to driving issues every day.  Some people just let it go while others blast their horn and flip-off the other person.  I suspect that the person who is going to let it go will have a much better day.  I agree that you need to recognize the triggers that set you off and you’re right that you need to know how to handle these situations…sometimes very quickly.

    My way of dealing with anger, most of the time, is to listen to music.  It has a calming effect and it helps me change my mood. 

    Dealing effectively with anger is a measure of maturity.  Having raised two children, I tried very hard to teach them there is an alternative to displaying anger.  Although not always successful, I do think it had a positive overall impact given how they manage their own issues today. 

    Great article with some ideas that I can use.  As I mentioned, I drive for Uber and patience and anger management is crucial.

    • Thank you for your valuable comment and advice. Music is another thing that also helps with anger issues, and letting it go will definitely improve one’s day.

  4. I’ve had serious anger issues for many years of my life.  I can also testify on all the negativity it causes in one’s life.  And most times you don’t realize it’s because of the anger issues that you suffer in other areas of your life too.  Physically and emotionally.  

    Getting your emotions under control is not easy, but it can be done.  I have found that affirmations work the best for me.  After I get up in the morning, I make a conscious effort to do my positive, peaceful, calm, loving affirmations for half an hour while I am getting ready to start my day.  Then when I come across an anger trigger throughout the day, I remind myself of my morning affirmations, and then I stay calm and collected in all situations.  

    I am truly a changed person, and my life has changed since I found a way to control my anger issues.  Great post and very informative, thank you.  

    • Thanks for stopping by Marlene, and thank you for sharing your experience with us. Some really helpful advice for anyone trying to control their anger issues.

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