What Is Anger?
Nearly everyone in this world is prone to displays of anger, which is why in this post I am going to look at how to control anger issues.
It’s just the degree of frequency and the level of intensity of the emotion that varies. It is just this that controls how well a person handles the anger and whether there are positive or negative results from this.
How we handle our anger issues also plays a part in our health, so it is important to learn how to deal with these emotions to help with your stress levels.
A key to successfully managing anger issues is gaining control of your emotions. When looking at how to control anger issues and gaining control of this strong emotion, it may help to take a look at anger itself, what it is and see how one can deal with it effectively.
Since anger is an emotion, it can be triggered by a variety of things, issues, people, places, etc.
Some of the top triggers are jealousy, confrontations, failure, greed, fear, low self-esteem, assertiveness, feeling threatened and pain.
When a person gets angry, the negative emotion can actually harm the person’s physical and emotional well-being. The heart rate increases, stress levels rise, and often a fight or flight reaction is the immediate response, neither one always presenting a healthy alternative.
What counters anger best is to be prepared in advance and learn what major triggers control your emotions. You need to be able to tell when they are about to happen and thus try to avoid these triggers.
There is also a variety of coping skills that one can put in place to deal with how to control anger issues.
It would be a good starting place to keep a private journal and note any anger triggers, ways to possibly avoid confrontations and also list possible coping techniques. This will serve as a great starting point for you to learn how to control these unpleasant emotions.
How To Control Anger Issues
Wait until you are calm and then make yourself a list of people, things, places, and events that get you worked up and angry.
It could be things like these:
- Going to visit your in-laws and having them criticize you.
- Losing money on the stock market.
- Waiting in long ques.
- Handling an angry customer.
- Heavy traffic.
- Automated answering services that never connect you to the right department.
- People complaining about your cooking.
Now list ways in which you can deal with your anger. Make sure that you are in a positive frame of mind when you do this to spark better creativity.
Here are some ideas:
- Try dancing. You can let it all out in your own unique way. Just put on your favorite music and dance around your lounge.
- Try some ice cream. This sounds simple but believe it or not, something cool and soothing can often help take the heat off the moment and also cool your whole body down.
- Take a walk. Take a step back, go for a walk and mull over the situation for a while, and your proverbial mountains will actually turn out to be molehills.
- Write down your feelings in a journal. Create a column for ‘lemons’ and another alongside it for solutions (lemonade).
- Try altering your schedule. Take a different route home, or do things in a different order as you get ready in the morning.
The Top 7 Ways of Controlling Anger
It is normal to get angry at some time in your life over something or other that happens.
However, anger is a negative emotion that leads to feelings of sadness, guilt, frustration, unhappiness, and helplessness.
Anger is an emotion which we must recognize and be able to let go of in order to be happy, successful and to be able to work on our personal growth in life. It is important to find a resolution for the anger and being able to let it go and move on.
Knowing why you are actually angry does help. Do you feel angry at another’s actions or are you angry at your own reaction? Finding out what actually upsets you is an important factor in actually narrowing down what it is that is bothering you.
The more you practice controlling your anger the easier it becomes to let it go and move on and by learning to control your anger you are effectively learning to take control over your life and your happiness.
Here are 7 things to try to help you gain control over your anger
- When you feel anger beginning to build up inside of you, let your whole body droop and relax to the best of your ability while beginning to breathe from the diaphragm. Breathing in this way helps to calm both the body and mind which leads to letting go of the anger before it takes hold.
- Ask yourself if being angry and working yourself up is going to make any difference to the situation. If for example someone cuts in front of you, is it really going to change anything if you curse and blow your horn. Is it worth stressing yourself over these little things that you cannot change?
- Visualize a stress-free zone in your mind. This should be a place where you feel totally relaxed and calm and a place which only you know about where you can quickly go to when you feel anger beginning to build up inside. It can be a totally imaginary place or one that you have visited in your life where you feel totally relaxed and at ease.
- When you feel anger beginning to build up due to someone else’s actions think of yourself doing exactly the same thing as they did, would you be angry with yourself if you were the one doing it?
- Realize that it’s you and you alone that is allowing the anger to build up inside of you, while it may have been caused by someone else, you chose to let it bother you and to get angry.
- Counting to 10 really can help to diffuse anger, by concentrating on counting you are forgetting what happened and are consciously letting the anger go.
- Repeat an affirmation or mantra to yourself whenever you feel anger beginning to build up inside. For example, tell yourself to “take it easy”, “I feel calm and relaxed”, “anger isn’t going to get me anywhere” or “let it go”. Affirmations can help to diffuse your anger and get you back on the right track of thinking in a more positive and calming way.
Any other ideas on how to control anger issues?
I am sure there are many other unique ways one can work on to control anger issues, so please comment below if you have anything to add.